Just like the song, breaking up really is hard to do. I've been there myself and it was honestly one of the worst moments of my life. To let go of a relationship that I had made plans for my future with was such a hard thing to do and made me feel I was letting go of everything I had hoped I would have.
However, when I reflect back on that relationship and everything that led to us breaking up, I have realised that that break up had been looming for a few months before it actually happened. Having spoken to other people who have ever broken up with someone or who have been broken up with and watching YouTube videos where people talk about their breakups, it seems to be a recurring theme that breaking up with someone you love (or once loved) isn't a split-second decision and is actually something that tends to loom for a few months prior to the actual break up itself.
If you have come to this post, I am guessing it is for one of two reasons. You are either just interested in what I have to say on this matter. OR you have been thinking about breaking up with your current partner for some time and are probably not going to like what I'm going to say. Even if you're looking for reasons to stay with your current partner, this is definitely the blog post for you if even the thought of breaking up with them has entered your mind.
I completely understand what it's like to be in a relationship with someone and think everything is hunky-dory, up until the cracks start to show. With my ex, I had doubts from the start about being in a relationship with him, which wasn't really to do with him but more on whether I was in the right headspace to actually be in a relationship. We were in a relationship for seven months and I would say the real cracks started to show around four months into the relationship and I started considering breaking up with him at five months. I guess I put it off for as long as I did because I was still trying to convince myself that all couples go through ups and downs in their relationships and that we were just going through a down and that we'd get through it. But as time went on, I realised that things were continuously getting worse and no matter how much we explained our points of view to each other, we just seemed to be going round and round in circles. Coming to the decision to break up with him was not easy, but it was definitely the best decision for both of us.
I know some people might say it's natural to have thoughts of what if you and your partner break up, but is it really? Surely you only get into a relationship with someone if you can see the two of you staying together for the rest of your lives and not just for the sake of being in a relationship? Maybe I'm just naive to relationships and this is normal, but for me, it really isn't. Regardless of that, when you actually start to think about breaking up with someone, even if it's just a tiny thought at the back of your mind, I can guarantee you that you should break up with that person sooner rather than later. This is because if you start having these feelings, it is more than likely that you will break up at some point and I often think it's better to get this out of the way sooner rather than later. Think of it like ripping off a plaster. The faster you do it, the less painful it is.
No one wants to break up with anyone. In an ideal world, we would all find the person we're meant to spend the rest of our lives with straight away and would never have to go through the pain of finding someone we think we're meant to spend forever with, to then have to either break up with them or have them break up with us. It's really not a nice feeling but unfortunately is one many of us will go through at some point (or many points) in our lives.
If you are currently in a relationship and have started thinking about breaking up with your partner, whatever stage you are at with that, I know it's really difficult, but the sooner you get that conversation done and out of the way, the better. The very fact you are even reading this post is a sign in itself that you are looking for someone to tell you to do it because, if you're anything like me, you will try and convince yourself that because things were good at the start, they will become good again, which the chances of that happening, I'm sorry to say, are very slim. Remember: it's like ripping off a plaster - quick and painless.
I'm sending so much love to you. Breaking up is so hard and is, at many times, heartbreaking, but it has to be done. Everything is going to be okay and just because you break up with this person, doesn't mean you are going to be alone forever. When the time is right, you will find someone else and hopefully, that person will be your forever person.
What advice would you give to someone who is planning on breaking up with their partner?
Love Beth xx