I think I have found love before, but that love was one where I thought I knew what love was, but in reality, I haven't a clue. I am hoping you can show me what love is. I don't expect it to be like how they portray it in the movies, because real life isn't like that. You don't randomly bump into the love of your life in a coffee shop, start dating, go through a rough patch where you fall out with and stop seeing one another, and then all of a sudden realise that you do genuinely love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them, turn up at their house in the pouring rain, kiss, get married, and live happily ever after. You don't suddenly realise you see your best friend as more than a friend, have them feel the same way, become a couple, and live happily ever after with no arguments or anything like that. In real life, you're not guaranteed to find your soulmate, if they even exist, and if they do exist, you might not find them until much later on in life.
I will be the first person to admit that I am a bit of a handful. In fact, not just a bit, but a lot. But I have a big heart. Sometimes I think I love too much and when that person ends up leaving my life, I feel such an immeasurable amount of pain that it makes it difficult for me to move on to anyone else. I never want to experience heartbreak like that again and hopefully, you can be the person to show me that there are genuine guys out there who aren't going to hurt me.
I need someone who is kind. I need someone who is caring. I need someone who can be honest, not just about the small things, such as if my hair looks messy or if what I'm wearing suits me, but with how they are feeling and whether they think this relationship is going anywhere. I need someone who can have a laugh. I need someone who doesn't just want to be there for the good times, but can also be there through the bad times. I need someone that respects my boundaries. I need someone that understands that there will be times where they have to put more into the relationship, but I also understand that there will be times where I have to put more into the relationship. Yes, I understand that relationships should be 50/50, but there are times where I may only be able to give 20% so you will have to give 80% and there are times where you may only be able to give 10% and I will have to give 90%. I need someone who can give as much as they can take. I need someone who wants to spend lots of time with me but who also understands that I will want to spend time with others without you or time on my own. I need someone who will prioritise me, but I also understand that there will be times where this is not possible. I need someone who is driven and motivated to achieve the most in their life. I need someone who can accept that I don't drink alcohol but who knows that I can still go out and have a good time, but that may also mean that I have limitations and am not always comfortable around drunk people, particularly those who I don't really know. Having said that, I also need someone who can recognise that I am more of a night-in kind of person and would much rather have a takeaway and movie night over going out all the time. I need someone who really listens to my wants and needs and doesn't dismiss them. I need someone who is willing to work things out instead of falling at the first hurdle. And most importantly, I need someone who loves me for me.
(As you can see, I don't expect much)
Regardless of what I need from you, I am more than aware that there will be plenty of things that you will need from me. Whilst I do not yet know what those things are, I can tell you what I can offer you, some of which I hope cater to your needs.
I can promise to make you laugh. I can promise to lend you a shoulder to cry on. I can promise to stay with you through thick and thin. I can promise to love your family as if they were my own. I can promise to be honest with you about how I'm feeling. I can promise to be kind, but also know that I will take the mick out of you from time to time (but I'm also okay with you doing that to me). I can promise to make you a priority, but also know that there will be a few occasions where this is not possible. I can promise to spend lots of time with you, creating the most amazing and fun memories. And most importantly, I can promise to love you for who you are.
Love Beth xx